Ruth Ellen Vance
1938 – 2026
Church gardenerKept the garden at the Presbyterian church for forty years. Visitation Friday, 5 to 7 p.m., in the chapel. Funeral Saturday at 11 a.m., Cold Spring Methodist.
Obituaries
Those we are caring for
“There is rosemary, that's for remembrance. Pray you, love, remember.”
Delmar J. Kowalczyk
1951 – 2026
U.S. Army, 1969 – 1973Drove the Cold Spring school bus for twenty-six years and knew every child's name. Graveside service Thursday at 2 p.m., Saint Anne Cemetery, with military honors.
Margaret A. Sutter
1944 – 2026
Memorial gifts requestedSang alto in the Philipstown chorale from the year it started. Memorial service Sunday at 3 p.m. in the chapel. Gifts in her memory to the Cold Spring Library.
Also in our care
Know when a notice is posted
We will write to you once, on the morning we publish a new obituary, with the name and the service times. Nothing else is ever sent to this list, and one click takes you off it.
A place to say goodbye slowly
Willowmere sits on eleven acres at the edge of Cold Spring, in a house built in 1889 and lived in by our family since 1952. There is a chapel, a kitchen, a long table, and a garden that people walk in when they need to leave the room for a minute.
We are not in a hurry, and we will not hurry you. Most families spend an afternoon here before anything is decided.
If a death has just occurred
(555) 000-0000Call at any hour, including nights, weekends and holidays. One of us answers, not a service.
If the death was unexpected and hospice is not involved, call 911 first. If your loved one was under hospice care, call the hospice nurse first, then call us.
Or ask us to telephone you
If you would rather not make the call yourself, leave a number. Somebody is awake.
First
We come to you
Tell us where your loved one is. We will bring them into our care from a home, hospital or nursing facility, usually within two hours.
Then
Nothing is decided today
No arrangements need to be made tonight and no money changes hands. We will sit down with you the following day, here or at your kitchen table.
When you come
What to bring
A photo ID and Social Security number, and discharge papers if your loved one served. If you cannot find any of it, come anyway. We will help you track it down.
What we can do
Whatever suits your family
There is no single right way to do this. These are the shapes it usually takes here.
Our people
Who will answer
There are five of us and a dog. Whoever picks up at two in the morning is the same one who will be standing beside you in the garden on the day.
Ellen Barrow
Owner · Third generation
Her grandfather bought the house in 1952 and she has lived in it, on and off, her whole life. She took over from her father in 2011, planted the beech at the bottom of the garden the same spring, and still does the flowers for every service herself.
Peter Barrow
Funeral director
Ellen's younger brother, and the one who drives out at night. He came back to Cold Spring in 2004 after eleven years away and says he has stopped apologising for it. He does most of the removals and all of the difficult telephone calls to the county.
Naomi Trask
Funeral director · Crematory operator
Not a Barrow, and the only one licensed to run the crematory. She joined in 2017 from Poughkeepsie. She is the person who will sit down and explain, plainly and without hurrying, what actually happens during a cremation. Families ask. She answers.
Walter Deane
Advance planning
Thirty years here, and the one who comes to your kitchen table rather than asking you to come in. He handles the funeral trusts and the Medicaid spend‑down paperwork, and he will tell you plainly when prepaying is the wrong move for your family.
Juno
Comfort dog
A golden retriever, on staff since 2020 and very good at her job. She works the visitations and is particularly useful with children, who often have nobody to talk to and would rather sit on the floor anyway.
Our prices
What a funeral costs here
Most families are surprised that this page exists. We publish our prices because you should be able to know what something costs without making a phone call you are not ready to make.
Direct cremation
Transfer into our care, cremation, and the return of your loved one in a simple urn. No service.
$1,895
Cremation with a gathering
Everything above, with a visitation and a memorial service in our chapel or at your church, and printed folders for those who attend.
$3,450
Graveside burial
Preparation, a casket from our selection room, transfer to the cemetery, and a service at the graveside.
$4,400
Traditional funeral and burial
Preparation, a casket, an evening visitation, a full service in our chapel or at your church, procession, and the committal at the cemetery.
$6,950
You have the right to choose only the goods and services you want. Our itemized General Price List shows every item separately and is available above, at the house, or by telephone. Cemetery charges, certified death certificates, newspaper notices and clergy honoraria are paid to others and billed to you at exactly what they cost us. Prices on this page were last updated in July 2026.
Cremation in Dutchess County
Cremation does not mean there is no funeral
$1,895
Direct cremation, complete
About two in three families we serve now choose cremation, and most of them still gather. There is a service, there are flowers, people come back to the house afterward and eat something. The only thing that changes is what happens at the end.
If you would like the urn present at the service, we will arrange the timing so that is possible. Families are welcome to be present at the crematory.
See what is includedGatherings
Things happening at the house
Open to anyone in the county, whether or not you have ever used us. There is no cost and no sign up for any of it.
Aug11
Grief support circle
Second Tuesday, 6:30 p.m., the long room
Aug16
Walk of remembrance
Saturday, 9:00 a.m., meet at the gate
Aug23
Veterans' coffee
Fourth Saturday, 8:00 a.m., the kitchen
Sep06
Service of remembrance
For every family we served this year
Plan ahead
Write it down once
Three questions now, and your family will not have to guess later. Nothing here is binding and nothing is paid. We will hold your wishes on file and send you a copy.
Spending down for Medicaid
Money set aside for a funeral is counted differently
More than one in four families who prepay do it for this reason. If a parent is heading toward a nursing home and needs to qualify for Medicaid, funds moved into an irrevocable funeral trust are generally not treated the way a savings account is treated.
The rules are set by the state and they change. We will sit down and explain plainly how it works here, what it covers and what it does not. We do not charge for that conversation, and we will tell you honestly if it is not the right move for your family.
Start the conversation
After the service
The part nobody warns you about
The paperwork outlasts the funeral by months. Here is what usually comes next, and where we still help.
Death certificates: how many you need
Every bank, life insurance company, pension plan, title office and utility that held something in your loved one's name will want a certified copy, and most will not give it back. We order them for you when we file the certificate. Families usually start with six to eight, and we can order more later.
Social Security
We report the death to Social Security for you as part of our service. That reporting does not apply for survivor benefits. A surviving spouse or child may be eligible for a one-time payment and, in some cases, ongoing monthly benefits, but you have to contact Social Security yourself to claim them. Do it sooner rather than later, since some benefits are not paid retroactively.
If your loved one was a veteran
Bring the discharge papers (form DD-214) if you can find them, and we will request a copy if you cannot. Eligible veterans may receive a burial flag, a government headstone or marker at no cost, and in some circumstances a burial allowance. Burial in a national or state veterans cemetery is also available to those who qualify. We file this paperwork for every veteran we serve.
Grief support in the county
The grief support circle meets the second Tuesday of each month at 6:30 p.m. in the long room. There is no cost, no sign up, and you do not have to have used our funeral home to come. Coffee is on.
Grief support
You do not have to have used us
All of this is free and open to anyone in Philipstown, whether we handled the funeral or not. Grief does not check where the arrangements were made.
The Tuesday group
Second Tuesday of every month, half past six, around the long table in the kitchen. No cost, no sign up, no obligation to say anything at all. Some people come for a year and some come once. There is always something baked.
Where to parkThe first sixty days
A short booklet we wrote ourselves, because the first two months are mostly paperwork and nobody warns you. What arrives in the post, what has to be answered, and what can safely wait until spring. We will post you a copy or you can read it here.
Read it or have it postedWhen it is a child grieving
Children grieve in short bursts and often years later, which frightens parents who expect it to look like their own. What to say, what to avoid, whether to bring a child to a viewing, and the two counsellors in Putnam County who specialise in it.
Read the guidanceCounsellors and groups nearby
A current list of grief counsellors, hospice bereavement programmes and faith based groups across Putnam and Dutchess, including the ones for a lost spouse, a lost child, and for death by suicide or overdose. We keep it current and take no referral fee.
See the listThe anniversary is harder than the funeral
If you would like it, we will telephone you once at about eleven months, before the first anniversary comes around. Most families say that is the week nobody remembers except them. Tell any of us and we will put a note in the file, or take you off it.
Families we have served
In their words
★★★★★
They answered at four in the morning and Ellen was at the house before the sun came up. I will never forget that.Rebecca L., Cold Spring
★★★★★
We knew what everything cost before we sat down. After what my sister went through downstate, that was a relief.Daniel M., Garrison
★★★★★
They rang me at eleven months, before the first anniversary. Nobody else remembered that week.Anne S., Cold Spring
Pay a bill
Settle an account online
You can pay by card here at any time, in full or in part. If a life insurance policy has been assigned to us there is nothing for you to pay now and nothing for you to do. Most policies take thirty to ninety days to be released, and we wait, without charging interest.
Pay by cardPayments are handled by our card processor. We never see or store your card number, and a receipt is emailed to you the moment the payment clears.
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